Stress when I was little

Today was a stressful day. You know, just one of those days where a lot of tiny things seem to put an unsurmountable amount of pressure on you mentally. As I sat underneath the Christmas lights I had this sudden wish, I wish I could overcome stress like a child again.

Growing up I would be the last person on planet Earth to stress out over anything, nothing frazzled me. It was because I always knew that every problem I had was being looked at too closely. I knew that soon, very soon, things would untangle themselves and my worries would look like sheer balderdash. Life was like a play, a happy play. I don’t know how that changed.

Problems now seem a lot more complex, they seem a lot more dire, their consequences seem impenetrable. SEEM. The thing is, I am not sure if that is in fact the reality of the situation, or if I can still afford to look at life as my happy play.

Are grown up problems different in nature or have our minds been trained over the years to look at things differently, to fear, to panic, to stress?

I am not certain what the answer to that question is, but today, I am going to try to overcome my stress by looking at it like a child, things will work out, life is nothing but a happy play.

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Secrets

After a week spent glued to my laptop screen, today I finally completed my marathon of Pretty Little Liars. Aside from completely shattering me into a bunch of nerves throughout the day, it has actually got me to thinking about something. Secrets.

We all keep secrets, I think it’s almost a necessity for survival. I would ideally say don’t hide anything really toxic but the truth is those are the ones we hide, aren’t they?

I have secrets. Some more haunting than the others. What if I didn’t have them? I got to thinking, what if I had nothing to hide from anyone, how different would my life be? How different would people see me? Does keeping secrets, big secrets, mean that I’m living a lie, or that certain relations aren’t real at all? Just how damning is one secret?

Funny thing, typing those words out I realized that I knew the answers to all those questions. My life would be very different if a torch was shone into every dark corner. Is that an okay thing?

I don’t know.