Piece of whatever -to be happy-

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Previously on Soumya..

Life has been haywire of late with empty spaces (which like BSB said do indeed fill me up with holes), criss crossed wiring and flammable passions.

There is so much I wish to tell you beautiful people but somehow the words get lost in between thought gaps. As I sit here trying to summon the thoughts to reappear, I figure in the meantime I could post this, a piece of whatever, for you to nibble on before the mains.

One of my closest friends is officially dating the love of his life! This makes me incredibly happy. Doesn’t true love make you happy too? There is NO greater joy in this world than finding love! Here is to them, may they be blessed with a forever!

I realized I have three vile habits I need to be working towards demolishing, there is an incredibly onerous road that lay ahead of me and somehow, accepting that and looking at it for what it is makes me happy.

I have successfully failed at managing to find myself an occupation, but I have faith that things will work out, and that makes me happy.

Something that truly made my heart sing today was this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwAYpLVyeFU&feature=youtu.be

Because being kind is so simple, and equally simple is being blasé about it. I hope you each do just one kind act today.

Things haven’t really been looking up for me since the past month, but I believe that there are good days ahead. I refuse to crumble into apathy, I will find something that makes my heart sing every day, and I will let it sing, unabashedly.

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Part of the List

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfxTsn3fvqw

There are songs where we swear ourselves to the singer, this one has to be when I lost it to Ne Yo.

One of my favorite songs in this world, when you say sing, this is the first song that always comes to my mind. I am not sure why, maybe because of the so many memories attached to it, or how astutely I could feel it at the point it released or just because it’s beautiful. What can I say, I come up with something new every single time that I sit and reminisce. 

Rip off the band aid.

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A few days ago, a friend asked me an interesting question. He asked me “If you could tell me something with no inhibitions, what would it be?” The truth is that even the thought of the question frightened me.

I thought about the question and applied it almost everyone I knew and I realised that there are so many secrets I keep from everyone, even my closest of closest friends. Some are just thoughts, some are a little more solid than that, but there are always dark doors behind which resides a whole cluster of unsaid words.

Sometimes, especially of late, I find myself white lying more often than I care to admit. White lies, I used to preach about the vile nature of those fellas.

And then there are the secrets, oodles of facts and figures kept in my closet of skeletons, haven’t they just multiplied tenfold in the past year?

And finally, the lies. Some that I am so used to telling that over time, they almost have me thinking that it may be the truth.

When did I turn into this person? All my life that I have known me, I have known myself and prided myself to be an honest soul. Suddenly it doesn’t seem that way anymore.

The change is fearsome because it is so gradual, you don’t see it, one white lie to cover one small secret and then a tiny little lie to seal it shut, it keeps happening. There seems to be no end to this vicious, malicious heap of darkness.

So I have made a resolution today (because today is as good a day as any to make a resolution) to try be more honest and more sincere in each act of mine, each word of mine. Even when it seems to be extremely difficult, just rip off the band aid, I will tell myself.

The mall

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There are places in all our lives where we feel more at home than we do at home. Mine is a mall.
I am no shopaholic (or atleast no longer), the mall is just a place I find sanctity to just be. I feel like I own the place, like every tile, every store, every pillar and every fake palm tree is mine.
I have been through six different places that I have lived in and two colleges. Every place had a fleeting sense of belonging, but it came with an expiry date.
This didnt.
The mall. My mall.